You might very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

It's all happening today. I've been perfecting a tirade about the nauseating primness this country (by which I mean our gutter press) displays when faced with political sex-"scandals" (a definition it has stretched, over the years, to include any evidence whatsoever that our MPs do anything other than screw their spouses once a month, missionary) since I was 14, when the Daily Mirror decided that his fondness for Chelsea football strips and the company of actresses was fatally compromising David Mellor's ability to do his vital work as Minister for Fun and I fired off the first of many stiff letters to the editor. I'm not going to reproduce it here, at least today. There are more important quesitons that need answering, viz, who among the remaining candidates for the Lib Dem leadership is the House of Cards fan, and what humiliating experience is in store for the other candidates? I think it's Ming the Merciless, and now that he's made Oaten his Earle, how's he going to persuade, say, Simon Hughes to have sex with an aide?