In Every Way, Shape and Form
This used to be my blog. Well, I suppose it still is. It's over three years since I said anything on it, though. But it's still mine, and it's here I come now, not exactly to vent but simply to get my thoughts down in such a manner as I might not be the only person to read them.
My life has changed quite a bit since I quoted Sports Night in that last post. The cliché of the blogger is the unemployed malcontent, and that was more or less me. Now I'm an employed malcontent, although the context of my dissatisfaction has changed somewhat.
I have made an awful lot of mistakes in my life (see: unemployed malcontent), but there was a time recently when it seemed that they'd all be worth it, because if I had managed to avoid making just one of them, any one of them, I would not have been working where I was working on the morning of October 13th, 2009, when without any warning at all into my life breezed quite the most amazing girl I'd ever met: smart, beautiful, powerfully sexy, funny, warm, compassionate, kind-hearted, fiercely loyal, possessed of an intoxicating independence of spirit, an intoxicating smile, intoxicating jet-black hair, and an intoxicating pair of norks. We could barely seem to spend enough time together, and in due course the moment arrived, with that air of powerful inevitability that all such moments have, when we got drunk, kissed and told each other how much we liked each other.
Then: nothing. And to be fair her reasons for that were unimpeachable, but before she finally told me what they were there was an evening when she had sat at home, under no pressure, and calmly sent me a text where she told me that she thought I was perfect for her in every way, shape and form. So you can imagine my surprise when it turned out that the reasons she gave for not wanting to get together with a guy she had described in those terms apparently didn't apply to someone else, with whom she remains.
I like to think I'm reasonably fair minded, but I just don't understand this at all. And apparently my lack of understanding, and desire for same, ideally through having a reasonable, mature, meaningful and adult discussion with her about the choices she made which have impacted on me so hugely, is of no concern to her, or is at least significantly less important than her terror of rousing her boyfriend's stupid, juvenile jealousy, which in turn implies a mistrust of her that she should find roundly offensive, given that even the most emotionally illiterate Neanderthal could probably surmise after about five minutes with her that she is, as I said, fiercely loyal.
So now we just work together and pretend nothing ever existed between us. That is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. The best bit is, he works there too.
My life has changed quite a bit since I quoted Sports Night in that last post. The cliché of the blogger is the unemployed malcontent, and that was more or less me. Now I'm an employed malcontent, although the context of my dissatisfaction has changed somewhat.
I have made an awful lot of mistakes in my life (see: unemployed malcontent), but there was a time recently when it seemed that they'd all be worth it, because if I had managed to avoid making just one of them, any one of them, I would not have been working where I was working on the morning of October 13th, 2009, when without any warning at all into my life breezed quite the most amazing girl I'd ever met: smart, beautiful, powerfully sexy, funny, warm, compassionate, kind-hearted, fiercely loyal, possessed of an intoxicating independence of spirit, an intoxicating smile, intoxicating jet-black hair, and an intoxicating pair of norks. We could barely seem to spend enough time together, and in due course the moment arrived, with that air of powerful inevitability that all such moments have, when we got drunk, kissed and told each other how much we liked each other.
Then: nothing. And to be fair her reasons for that were unimpeachable, but before she finally told me what they were there was an evening when she had sat at home, under no pressure, and calmly sent me a text where she told me that she thought I was perfect for her in every way, shape and form. So you can imagine my surprise when it turned out that the reasons she gave for not wanting to get together with a guy she had described in those terms apparently didn't apply to someone else, with whom she remains.
I like to think I'm reasonably fair minded, but I just don't understand this at all. And apparently my lack of understanding, and desire for same, ideally through having a reasonable, mature, meaningful and adult discussion with her about the choices she made which have impacted on me so hugely, is of no concern to her, or is at least significantly less important than her terror of rousing her boyfriend's stupid, juvenile jealousy, which in turn implies a mistrust of her that she should find roundly offensive, given that even the most emotionally illiterate Neanderthal could probably surmise after about five minutes with her that she is, as I said, fiercely loyal.
So now we just work together and pretend nothing ever existed between us. That is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. The best bit is, he works there too.
posted by Novus at 20:23
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